I-Love-You, I-Love-You-Not

Day Fifteen: Your Voice Will Find You

Today’s Prompt: Think about an event you’ve attended and loved. Your hometown’s annual fair. That life-changing music festival. A conference that shifted your worldview. Imagine you’re told it will be cancelled forever or taken over by an evil corporate force. How does that make you feel?  Today’s twist: While writing this post, focus again on your own voice. Pay attention to your word choice, tone, and rhythm. Read each sentence aloud multiple times, making edits as you read through. Before you hit “Publish,” read your entire piece out loud to ensure it sounds like you.

 

My mind reels, as I search through the dusty memories of my childhood, and younger years.  I’m grasping for an event I attended and loved.  How hard can this be? I’ve attended dozens and dozens of events in my life.  I land on my wedding.  I don’t think that counts.  Nor does my second thought, the birth of my children.

Sitting silently, I continue to search my brain.  Events I have been in charge of  have been fun.  The pleasure came from helping and blessing others, I realize.  I’m starting to feel panic, I’ve always thought of myself as someone who loved people.  Maybe loving people and loving being around people is a different thing. Is that why I am more comfortable behind the laptop screen than at an event?

But still, there has to be some event, I think to myself.  All the interesting events from the zillion books I’ve read come to mind.  But those didn’t happen to me.  I just lived them vicariously.  That’s not as lame as it sounds.  I promise.

How about vacations? Do those count as an event? Probably not.  How about when my friends come over and hang out?  I enjoy that. Does that count? No? Dates with my husband?  Come on, I’m getting desperate here.  No?

Then I got nothing.

I can’t think of single event that I’ve attended and loved. I’ve attended many events that I have liked. Love is just such a strong word.  There are things in my life that I love very much. If they were gone the loss would be heartbreaking.  For example: The cool breeze on a sunny day.  The smell of the ocean.  The rustle of fall leaves under my feet.  Winter snow on the bare tree branches.  Sunrises. Sunsets. Sitting quietly in a crowd and just listening.  Laughter that comes from deep in your being.  The smile on a friend’s face when you’ve blessed them.  The gleam in a child’s eye when they learn something for the first time. The hug of acceptance and love from a friend.

I love honesty, openness and deep connections, not so much awkward formalities, uncomfortable shoes and pastries I’m not sure if I should eat with my fingers or a fork.

 

**Disclaimer: I hesitate to post this because if you are my friend and do invite me to an event, I don’t want you to think I will hate it.  I most certainly won’t hate it. Surely, I will like it. Maybe yours will be the one I finally love.